


waited, weighted

by setosdarkness



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Spoilers, basically yurio's pov of the series as he pines for yuuri all along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 04:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8953369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setosdarkness/pseuds/setosdarkness
Summary: He’s been waiting all his life, the weight of a crushing emotion deep inside him. Katsuki Yuuri has been taken from him even before he even knew to fight for him.[aka: the 'yurio pines for yuuri even as he watches him fall in love with victor', the fic]





	

**Author's Note:**

> while victuuri is the ultimate otp, there's some beauty in yurio pining for yuuri (even though it starts out as some interest, then teenage crush, then---) even as he *knows* that he's never, ever gonna end up w/yuuri.
> 
> fic was born because i wanted to see a list of scenes that now have a different light, re: yuuri/yurio interactions, given ep 12's reveal about yurio being interested in yuuri all along. much like how our povs were changed after ep10's ending scene haha. but since the list ended up being 'fic-like' anyway, i just turned it to a fic lol
> 
> anyway, enough rambling! feedback is always appreciated ♥ ♥ ♥

_title_ ♣ waited, weighted  
_summary_ ♦ He’s been waiting all his life, the weight of a crushing emotion deep inside him. Katsuki Yuuri has been taken from him even before he even knew to fight for him.  
_notes_ ♠ pining Yurio, because Yuuri apparently is catnip for Russians internally squeeing about him LOL

-

Fifty years now.

He keeps his hand strong. Otabek believes that he’s a soldier, able to march on no matter what. He borrows and channels that belief, keeps his hands strong and steady. He’s supposed to say something comforting.

“Stop sniveling like a pig already.”

There’s a hiccup, a cut-off laughter.

“You’re… you’re always so brash with your words, Yurio.”

He keeps his hands strong, on both of Katsuki Yuuri’s shoulders. He needs to be the strong one, because Katsuki Yuuri needs him.

Fifty years now, he’s waited, the weighted feeling inside his chest a lifetime old—for the time that he’s needed by Katsuki Yuuri (not his name, not his name for the past forty-eight years, but he can only be so strong).

It’s a pity that it’s because Victor is on the hospital bed, all frail bones and all beeps of machines and all lines of IV drips.

Even now, he’s still waiting.

-

Fifty years ago.

He demolishes his competition, everything easy despite Yakov and Victor nagging him about focusing all his efforts on the jumps and raised arms and quads, without bothering about his step sequence.

Geh, who needs step sequence anyway? It’s not important, he can win and he can win even more even without that. It’s such a small part of victory. It’s not like there’s ever a skater who’ll rise from the dirt and steal gold and attention and everything else with just a couple of step sequences.

He eats his words promptly as he watches the performance of Katsuki Yuuri, jumps flubbed like a motherfucking idiot, but he doesn’t really remember those, only the strain on that face that looks like he got sucker-punched, because the entire time he actually stops from sampling the new metal album that he’s downloaded on his phone, stays sprawled near the top of the stands, but practically his entire body thrumming as he sees lines and rhythm and a _story_ and _charm_ in that guy’s step sequence.

That he’s also named ‘Yuri’ and that he also apparently likes the color blue and that he looks like he’s Yuri’s age just make things even more interesting.

He’s dead-last, of course, failing his jumps like it’s going out of style, but. What if. What if he’s able to conquer this pathetic weakness? What if he’s able to complete his jumps so that it won’t destroy the beauty of his program, of his step sequence?

It’s the first time he’s ever felt like he _wants_ to watch someone else skate a no-miss performance.

It’s a given that he wants himself to accomplish that. Being Victor Nikiforov’s rinkmate means that he’s never had to waste time wishing for Victor to skate a perfect performance because it will happen no matter what anyway.

It’s the first time.

He waits until the medal ceremony and spies the eye-catching blue move.

-

Fifty years ago still.

What the fuck is he doing?

Yakov and Victor will give him an earful for this. Georgi is probably angsting somewhere. Mila, the hag, is probably making out with her boyfriend in celebration for her own medal.

Instead, he’s here, testing the weight of his curious interest against the fact that he’s actually fucking waiting in front of the men’s toilet so he can what. Exchange words with Katsuki Yuuri? Get his contact information? Offer to teach the man quads? Grill him for his reasons for the abysmal performance? Literally kick the other’s ass for making him wait for more than five minutes?

Should he snatch Victor’s phone, filled with dog, dog and more dog, and use it to search Youtube for this guy’s previous performances?

Though—what the fuck, he’s been waiting for what, ten minutes now?

He knows nobody’s in the toilet aside from Katsuki Yuuri.

Even if there’s someone, who the hell cares.

He hears it—sniffling and tears and it’s too long since Yuri’s heard that.

What an uncool loser. Why the fuck is he crying? Yeah, he failed big-time, but he managed to make it to the Final with such a pathetic performance. It’s not like the Final killed his parents or something. He shouldn’t be crying. This guy’s lucky that he doesn’t train under Yakov – he’ll be kicked out to the cold streets at the first signs of sniffling. It’s either you perform or you quit. Easy, clear-cut.

The weight inside him curdles slightly, but he attempts to stomp on it, by way of kicking the cubicle Katsuki Yuuri’s occupying so he can cry like an idiot.

An idiot this down in the dumps doesn’t need coddling – this guy needs a kick in the ass, a challenge to make him regain his fighting spirit or some shit like that.

So he does just that.

And waits.

-

Fifty years ago still, though a couple of hours after.

The hag teases him about him fretting about color combinations, nearly upending the shop they’re at for another suit, because he suddenly doesn’t feel like wearing the suit he brought with him, and he feels like wearing a particular shade of blue, why can’t these fuckers get the shade right?

“Aw, is our wittle Yuri trying to dress-up for someone?”

“Eat shit and die, hag.”

Victor joins them on the shop, but he’s not there to buy a suit. He’s not there to accept autograph and photo requests either, but his image is all about being accommodating, a person behind the mask of a skating god. Yuri doesn’t believe that shit – all he sees is a hollow man who happens to particularly nimble and good at performing, but machines break down and gods always end up being crucified by man, and this character will slip up soon, and Yuri will take over because he’s stronger, he knows.

Georgi’s browsing through the coats as well, though he doesn’t really commit to buying anything beyond his budget. He has plenty of savings but he’s an idiot who wastes his money on buying lavish gifts for the poor girl he’s dating, so.

“That is a lovely blue,” Victor says once he’s released from fanservice duty, approvingly eyeing the suit he’s managed to find.

Yuri has no doubt that Victor’s recognized it from Katsuki Yuuri, though he has also no doubt that Victor wouldn’t be able to quite remember as to who Katsuki Yuuri is. After brushing him off earlier as they left the venue, there’s no doubt.

He ignores Victor and ignores the lead-like weight inside his chest at the recollection of his weakness about step sequences being discussed right beside the guy with quite-possibly the best step sequences ever.

-

No Katsuki Yuuri in the Worlds.

What the fucking shit.

-

No Katsuki Yuuri in the news, until the day he’s everyone anyone can talk about for _days_.

-

Fifty years ago.

He enters the rink and harasses Georgi to sending him the link of Katsuki Yuuri’s shit taste, what the fuck is he doing, why the hell is he copying Victor Nikiforov’s FS, does he not have any shame or taste at all?

He waits in front of Victor’s locker for a minute, before he stomps away and demands that someone tell him Victor’s whereabouts because his locker is cleared, did he just—

-

Fifty years ago.

Google Translate is supremely unhelpful.

Katsuki Yuuri’s radio silence on social media is even more annoying.

If the news and Yakov are to be believed, Victor’s gone ahead and fucked things up by following his dick all the way to whichever part of Japan that Katsuki Yuuri’s holing at and gaining so much weight that are not going to help him one bit with nailing jumps what the fuck.

He waits for Victor to slip up on his self-control and post his exact location.

(And when he sees notification and pictures about Victor being with Katsuki Yuuri in Hasetsu Castle… “I finally found you”.)

-

(Fifty-some years ago, he used to ignore Yakov’s orders about not landing quads in respect to his body’s growth. And he knows he can do it. He’s lived his life under the ‘perform or get lost’ policy after all. He’s not going to get lost like some loser. He’s going to perform, perform and perform some more. And Victor Nikiforov’s making his name and he’s the first person to maybe-irresponsibly-but-still encourage him. And he’s promised. He’s waiting for that promise still.)

-

Fifty years ago.

He finally reaches the skating rink, uncaring about the flood of people and the triplets who eventually allow him entry.

Everyone whispers his name and his current title.

Until the stupid fucking pig just breezes past him, not acknowledging or realizing that he’s even there. Until the stupid fucking pig just outright ignores him, starts babbling about Victor and skating and—

He’s not going to get fucking forgotten by this guy.

He’s been waiting for too long, for _months_.

He doesn’t feel guilt (he does) when he kicks Katsuki Yuuri and forces him to apologize.

The guy apologizes, but the fact that he doesn’t even quite understand what he’s apologizing for just fucking grates at him.

And then—this guy has the nerve to admit that they haven’t even talked about programs! This pig doesn’t need Victor Nikiforov’s choreography – everything’s already beautiful enough, god fucking damn it. He needs a strict coach who has knowledge, not flights of fancy, who can be able to provide him techniques to conquer his failures at his jumps, not Victor whose idea of ‘techniques’ are summed up as ‘it’s a feeling so it will happen if it happens!’.

It’s one year of a fucking waste if this continues.

But Katsuki Yuuri just smirks at him—and the weight inside his ribs curl inside even further.

-

Fifty years ago.

He knows about the banquet. He knows about Victor mooning over this guy. He knows that Victor can just give him a choreography and they’ll part ways.

But there’s an irrational desire to keep Victor away from Katsuki Yuuri. No matter what it takes.

And if it means participating in some contest, in some dance battle, _fine_.

If it means staying close so he can make sure that Victor fucking behaves, _fine_.

If it means that he’s going to endure a change in his name, breaking away one of the things that ties them together, _fine_.

If it means not getting _Eros_ , because Victor’s an asshole who probably likes the idea of making Katsuki Yuuri dance the program meant for Victor to express how much he was blueballed, an asshole who doesn’t know that he’s not alone in the months of waiting, _fine_.

He’ll take Victor away from here, get his promise fulfilled, get gold for his senior debut. Life is good.

-

Fifty years ago.

He meets Yuuko, a friend of Katsuki Yuuri’s. Her eyes sparkle in some knowing way. He should be wary, but he isn’t.

What he should be wary of is Victor flirting the shit out of that pig—what the fuck, they’re in public! On ice!

(Though he takes great pleasure in Victor’s disappointment at being told that Katsuki Yuuri doesn’t find him erotic in any way, not in the least compared to katsudon.)

-

Fifty years ago.

Katsuki Yuuri – no, he’s _katsudon_ now, a nickname, a word that he’d gladly say over and over again, if only to remind the man of what _Eros_  is apparently to him – finally asks him to help with a quad-Salchow.

It eases the weight the slightest bit.

-

Fifty years ago.

He walks out, tasting defeat for the first time.

He knows it, held captive by Katsuki Yuuri’s performance, knowing that Victor’s going to pick katsudon as the winner anyway, knowing it and hating himself the slightest bit for walking away and resigning himself to waiting and carrying the weight heavier than ever.

**Author's Note:**

> if you need more convincing about pining!yurio:
> 
> ep9 - he was super nice to yuuri (bec victor's not there)
> 
> ep10 - he was dissing victor more than yuuri in that beach scene, almost like he's mad at victor for taking yuuri away. i have some more thoughts about the gpf banquet!yurio saying that he was "humiliated" & how his phone ended up with so many pictures/close-ups of yuuri, but that's gonna be in the fic
> 
> ep12 – yurio hears that victor’s competing again and his first expression/thought is worry that yuuri’s really retiring?! ;;;;  
> also, when he wins GPF gold – the goal that he wants to achieve, he looks pissed off at the podium still??? ;; because at that point, he doesn’t know if yuuri’s retiring or not yet, right;;;
> 
> kubo-san's interview implying that yurio doesn't consider yuuri as a friend but something else...


End file.
